they went farther, mirrored the future, tearing me away from to-day,
changing me into new forms of life, of which the pictures were very bright and blinding.
But of none of them could I call up a just image later. In the night I woke up out of a deep sleep.
I was dressed and lying transversely across the bed. I struck a light, feeling that I must try to remember something important that had happened.
I knew nothing of the hours just passed. I turned on the light, and recollection came back gradually.
I looked for the picture. It was not hanging on the wall, neither was it lying on the table.
I thought confusedly that I must have burned it. Or was it a dream, that I had burned it in my hands and had eaten the ashes?
A great inquietude convulsed me and drove me forth. I put on my hat, went out of the house and down the street, as if under coercion.
I walked and walked through streets and squares as if blown along by a storm, I listened in front of the gloomy church of my friend,
searched in obedience to a blind impulse, without knowing what I was looking for.
I went through a suburb, where brothels stood. Here and there a light was still shining.
Further on stood new buildings and brick heaps, covered in part with grey snow.
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