I'm lost.” “Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness.
If you hold back on the emotions—if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached,
you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.”
“But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even,
you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is.
And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion.
Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’ ”
Morrie stopped and looked me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.
“I know you think this is just about dying,” he said, “but it's like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
Morrie talked about his most fearful moments, when he felt his chest locked in heaving surges
or when he wasn't sure where his next breath would come from.
These were horrifying times, he said, and his first emotions were horror, fear, anxiety.
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