Kaitlyn just happened to be an extremely sophisticated twenty-five-year-old British socialite stuck inside a sixteen-year-old body in Indianapolis.
Everyone accepted it. “I’m good. How are you?” “I don’t even know anymore. Is that diet?”
I nodded and handed it to her. She sipped through the straw. “I do wish you were at school these days.
Some of the boys have become downright edible.” “Oh, yeah? Like who?” I asked.
She proceeded to name five guys we’d attended elementary and middle school with, but I couldn’t picture any of them.
I’ve been dating Derek Wellington for a bit,” she said, “but I don’t think it will last.
He’s such a boy. But enough about me. What is new in the Hazelverse?
Nothing, really,” I said. “Health is good?” “The same, I guess?”
“Phalanxifor!” she enthused, smiling. “So you could just live forever, right?”
“Probably not forever,” I said. “But basically,” she said. “What else is new?”
I thought of telling her that I was seeing a boy, too, or at least that I’d watched a movie with one,
just because I knew it would surprise and amaze her that anyone as disheveled and awkward and stunted as me
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