who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.
“But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on,
I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.”
I was kind of crying by then. “And then, having made my rhetorical point, I will put my robot eyes on,
because I mean, with robot eyes you can probably see through girls’ shirts and stuff. Augustus, my friend, Godspeed.”
Augustus nodded for a while, his lips pursed, and then gave Isaac a thumbs-up.
After he’d recovered his composure, he added, “I would cut the bit about seeing through girls’ shirts.”
Isaac was still clinging to the lectern. He started to cry.
He pressed his forehead down to the podium and I watched his shoulders shake,
and then finally, he said, “Goddamn it, Augustus, editing your own eulogy.”
“Don’t swear in the Literal Heart of Jesus,” Gus said. “Goddamn it,” Isaac said again.
He raised his head and swallowed. “Hazel, can I get a hand here?”
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