"I'm through running the maze. I'm not a guinea pig any more. I've done enough. I want to be left alone now." "All right, Charlie. I understand."
"No, you don't understand because it isn't happening to you, and no one can understand but me. I don't blame you.
You've got your job to do, and your Ph.D. to get, and—oh, yes, don't tell me, I know you're in this largely out of love of humanity,
but still you've got your life to live and we don't happen to belong on the same level.
I passed your floor on the way up, and now I'm passing it on the way down,
and I don't think I'll be taking this elevator again. So let's just say good-bye here and now."
"Don't you think you should talk to Dr.—" "Say good-bye to everyone for me, will you? I don't feel like facing any of them again."
Before he could say any more or try to stop me, I was out of the lab, and I caught the elevator down and out of Beekman for the last time.
October 7 — Strauss tried to see me again this morning, but I wouldn't open the door. I want to be left to myself now.
It's a strange sensation to pick up a book you read and enjoyed just a few months ago and discover you don't remember it.
I recall how wonderful I thought Milton was.
When I picked up Paradise Lost I could only remember it was about Adam and Eve and the Tree of Knowledge, but now I couldn't make sense of it.
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