Everything disappointed me. The course of lectures I followed, on the history of philosophy,
was just as vain and mechanical as the common ground of student life.
Everything was so much according to pattern, one person did as the other,
and the boyish faces, although inflamed with a forced gaiety, looked so distressingly vacant.
It was like the gloss of a ready-made article!
But I was free, I had the whole day to myself, and lived quietly in a beautiful old building outside the town.
I had a couple of volumes of Nietzsche on my table.
I lived with him, feeling the loneliness of his soul, sensing his destiny, which impelled him onwards unceasingly.
I suffered with him, and was happy that there had been one who had gone his way so inflexibly.
Late one evening I wandered through the town; an autumn wind was blowing and I heard the student societies singing in their taverns.
Tobacco smoke rose in clouds through the open windows; songs were being roared out, loudly and tensely;
but the noise did not soar up, it fell dully on the ear, and was lifelessly uniform.
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