How they loved to wear those badges on their blazers the next day!
As if a silver in the egg-and-spoon race was some sort of compensation for not understanding how to use an apostrophe.
At secondary school, PE was simply unfathomable. We had to wear special clothes and then run endlessly around a field,
occasionally being told to hold a metal tube and pass it to someone else.
If we weren’t running, we were jumping, into a sandpit or over a small bar on legs.
There was a special way of doing this; you couldn’t simply run and jump, you had to do some strange sort of hop and skip first.
I asked why, but none of the PE teachers (most of whom, as far as I could ascertain, would struggle to tell you the time) could furnish me with an answer.
All of these seemed strange activities to impose on young people with no interest in them,
and indeed I’m certain that they merely served to alienate the majority of us from physical activity for life.
Fortunately, I am naturally lithe and elegant of limb, and I enjoy walking, so I have always kept myself in a reasonable state of physical fitness.
Mummy has a particular loathing for the overweight (“Greedy, lazy beast,” she’d hiss, if one waddled past us in the street)
and I may perhaps have internalized this view to some extent.
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