in the cold world of others, where for me there would be only loneliness and fighting, no peace, no community of spirit.
Then I yielded myself to the charms of Mother Eve’s presence. My feeling for her was now doubly tender.
I was glad that my fate bore still these beautiful, tranquil features.
The summer weeks passed quickly and easily. Already the semester was drawing to a close.
Leave-taking was near, I dared not think of it, and did not, but clung to the beautiful days like a butterfly to a honeyed flower.
That was my period of happiness, the first fulfillment of my life’s wishes, and my reception into the league—what was to come next?
I would again have to fight my battles, be consumed by longing, have dreams, be alone.
At this time the feeling, the foretaste of separation, came over me so strongly that my love for Mother Eve blazed up suddenly, causing me pain.
My God! how soon would the time come to say good-bye, and I should see her no more,
no more hear her firm step in the house, should find no more her flowers on my table!
And what had I attained? I had dreamed and had lulled myself in comfort, instead of winning her,
instead of fighting for her and drawing her to me for always!
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