When he heard the same phrases nearly everywhere“We did not know about it,” and “We, too, have suffered,”
then he asked himself, have they really nothing better to say to me?
The experience of disillusionment is different.
Here it was not one’s fellow man (whose superficiality and lack of feeling was so disgusting
that one finally felt like creeping into a hole and neither hearing nor seeing human beings any more) but fate itself which seemed so cruel.
A man who for years had thought he had reached the absolute limit of all possible suffering
now found that suffering has no limits, and that he could suffer still more, and still more intensely.
When we spoke about attempts to give a man in camp mental courage, we said that he had to be shown something to look forward to in the future.
He had to be reminded that life still waited for him, that a human being waited for his return.
But after liberation? There were some men who found that no one awaited them.
Woe to him who found that the person whose memory alone had given him courage in camp did not exist any more!
Woe to him who, when the day of his dreams finally came, found it so different from all he had longed for!
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