Dearest Kitty, Last night, just as I was falling asleep, Hanneli suddenly appeared before me.
I saw her there, dressed in rags, her face thin and worn.
She looked at me with such sadness and reproach in her enormous eyes that I could read the message in them:
“Oh, Anne, why have you deserted me? Help me, help me, rescue me from this hell!”
And I can't help her. I can only stand by and watch while other people suffer and die.
All I can do is pray to God to bring her back to us. I saw Hanneli, and no one else, and I understood why.
I misjudged her, wasn't mature enough to understand how difficult it was for her.
She was devoted to her girlfriend, and it must have seemed as though I were trying to take her away.
The poor thing, she must have felt awful! I know, because I recognize the feeling in myself!
I had an occasional flash of understanding, but then got selfishly wrapped up again in my own problems and pleasures.
It was mean of me to treat her that way, and now she was looking at me,
oh so helplessly, with her pale face and beseeching eyes. If only I could help her!
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