That you could come through that, all of it, and then spend all those years trying to deal with it on your own, it’s—
I interrupted him. “When you read about ‘monsters’,” I said, “household names... you forget they had families.
They don’t just spring from nowhere. You never think about the people that are left behind to deal with the aftermath of it all.”
He nodded slowly.I’ve requested access to my files from Social Services now.
I’ve had cause to review my opinion of the Freedom of Information Act, Raymond,
and let me tell you, it’s actually a splendid piece of legislation. When it arrives, I’m going to sit down
and read it cover to cover—the Bumper Book of Eleanor. I need to know everything—all the little details.
That’s going to help me. Or depress me. Or both.” I smiled, to show him I wasn’t worried, and to make sure that he wasn’t worried either.
“It’s more than that though, isn’t it?” he said. “All those lost years, wasted years. Terrible things happened to you.
You needed help back then and you didn’t get it. You’ve got a right to it now, Eleanor—
He shook his head, unable to find the words. “In the end, what matters is this: I survived.”
I gave him a very small smile. “I survived, Raymond!” I said, knowing that I was both lucky and unlucky, and grateful for it.
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