because then it’s kind of like I have every car, and also as a rich person I deserve to be chauffeured. Should I keep going?”
We’d reached my locker now, and I was surprised to find that I remembered the combination.
There were so many human bodies around me. I kind of couldn’t believe it.
I pulled my locker open. I hadn’t done any homework. I was behind on everything.
The hallway was so loud, so crowded. “Yeah,” I said.
“No problem. I can do this all day. This is another reason we’re destined to be together—you’re so good at not talking.
So, with Elena, she put gum in my hair on purpose while I was sleeping,
and the next morning I was, like, ‘Why is there chewed gum in my hair?’ and she was, like, ‘Ha-ha!’
I was, like, ‘Elena, you have no understanding of humor. It isn’t funny just to make someone’s life worse.
Like, if I broke your leg, would that be funny?’ And she was, like, ‘Ha-ha!’
So I got this fancy haircut, and believe you me, I paid for it out of Elena’s college fund.
My parents made me set up a college fund for Elena, BTW.
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